


in another life

by dreamyeoja



Category: DIA (Band), Gugudan (Band), I.O.I (Band), Weki Meki (Band), 우주소녀 | Cosmic Girls | WJSN
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, IMSOSORRY, clickbackbuttonnow, hiyoudonthavetoreadthis, itsnotyetlate, somementionsoftwilight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-25 15:54:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12535480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamyeoja/pseuds/dreamyeoja
Summary: in which somi loves, breaks, and hopes





	in another life

**Author's Note:**

> nothing, this and that and i suddenly had a bad day, and oh, my sister has been playing the one that got away on loop for the whole day with her overly loud speakers, and our rooms are just beside each other for fuck's sake and i was having a bad day because something happened on my uni but she just had to play something so sappy. so viola, i couldn't help myself writing something because God i was just so miserably sad
> 
> i am terribly so sorry

 

> _**“Take care of yourself.” he breathed, cool against my skin.**_  
>  _**There was a light, unnatural breeze. My eyes flashed open. The leaves on a small vine maple shuddered with the gentle wind of his passage.**_  
>  _**He was gone.”**_

 

Somi closes the book.  ** _No help ._**  None, none at all.

She had been reading New Moon for a week now. For escape –for diversion from just literally  _everything_ , or atleast that’s what she says to herself anyway.

“Stupid. Telling her to take care of herself when he had always known she can’t,” Somi starts talking to the book, pointing at it even, like a parent scolding her bad child. “Bella needs you, you jerk of a vampire. And you just had to fucking leave.”

 She heaves out a deep sigh. Then stares at the wall infront of her bed and wishes she should have not. There placed their picture frame which had Somi momentarily distracted -they were very happy: Somi was eating something on her plate and Sejeong has her arm rested on Somi's shoulder, kissing her on the side of her head while smiling so sweet, her eyes closed.

 They  _were_  very happy.

 She opens the book again, curious if Edward ever came back to Bella on the very last page but  **no**  . That's just not how to read a book. She closes it back, and sighed again.

 “I can't do it.”

 She lies back on her bed, feeling her eyes heating up. 

 

She can't do it. 

 

 

 

 

 

“500 bucks that girl likes you,” Doyeon mumbles under her breath and moves her chair closer to Somi. Somi looks at the girl Doyeon was referring to. She caught the girl glancing at her, and saw how the side of her thin lips curved up for a shy smile before averting her eyes to someone's she's been talking with.  ** _She's pretty ._**  “Very pretty, isn't she?”

Somi nods, and then continued reading on her book. Doyeon looks at her in disbelief. “Twilight. Really, Somi?”

 “It wasn't that bad as everyone's been talking about. Plus, I've read the first book and this comes by order.” Somi explains flatly. Doyeon merely shakes her head, like she's disappointed or something.

“So what are you now, a member of TwiHard fandom shit?”

“Whatever, Doyeon.”

 She hears Doyeon sighing after a long pause.  ** _Good ._** And then opens her mouth again, “You're seriously going to ignore that pretty girl's existence? If I were you, I'm probably gonna be on my knees right now and ask her to marry me.”

 “Cool. And I'm texting Yeonjung about this.”

 “What ㅡ no!” Doyeon almost shouts anxiously. “Hey, I was just trying to knock some sense on you, moron. Try to distract yourself. She's not coming back.”

 ** _**I know**  ,_** Somi answers inside her head. The page she's reading is now a blank one, all scribbles written on it suddenly flew outside the open window. And all Somi could read was Sejeong's name on it.

 “It's been months you know, and I'm still thinking about it. Sej ㅡwow I can't even say her name. No matter how I see it, she's a fucking jerk.” Doyeon continues.

 “She is,” Somi agrees, closing the book gently. Her eyes are now looking at the sky, wondering if Sejeong is looking at it right at this moment, too. “But I love her.”

 “You're hopeless.”

“I know.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Same old.” Somi orders with a sad smile. The waiter looked at her like she's still waiting for some addition.  _Oh_ , she meant an order probably for Sejeong. “No, I'm ㅡ” Somi clears her throat, “I am alone.”

 “Your girlfriend's not coming, Ma'am?”

 “She's not.”  ** _She's never_** ** _._**  Somi smiles to the waiter, her eyes sad.

  
It's been a while since Somi visited this coffee shop. Memories come flooding on her mind, like a storm signal no. 11. It has an intended effect, of course because she couldn't even look at the empty chair across her without trying to stop herself from tearing up.  ** _Damn it_** _._ Sejeong used to sit on that chair, with flowers on her lap hidden under the table, and she'd surprise her with a lovely smile playing on her lips. Must everything reminds Somi about  _her?_

  
Her thoughts quickly evaporate above when someone approaches her. A girl ㅡor that girl Doyeon said who likes Somi last time. The girl's mouth forms a small smile, “Hi. Are you with someone?” and a blush starts creeping on her both cheeks, “I-I mean someone. Like, you are having a coffee with someone. Not... you know, That  _someone_.”

“No. I'm alone.” Somi swears she's going to hate the word alone for life.

 “Great.” She notices how the girl's eyes lit up. Maybe, Doyeon was right. “I'm Chaeyeon, by the way.”

 “Somi.”

  
And maybe, Somi needs  _this_.

 

 

 

 

  
  
6th day of March. Everyone is busy, or maybe Somi is just not as busy as everyone in the house is. She just stood there, trying to convince herself that this is a happy day. She thinks all of these is unnecessary when you're technically trying to celebrate about adding a year closer to death. Birthday - as everyone calls it, but Somi thinks it's just a euphemism for trying to be happy when you're actually close to dying.

 “For someone who's having a birthday, you sure looked the happiest,” Somi didn't even have to look on whoever just hugged her from behind. “Hi, gorgeous.” Sejeong dips a soft kiss on her cheeks.

 “I thought you'd be out with your friends today?” Somi hears the coldness of her own voice. She didn't even bother hiding her emotions because she never succeeded at that, not with Sejeong anyway. It's not that she's mad, but it's just because Somi is _very_ mad. Sejeong told her she's going with her friends today - on her birthday. It's a clear implication that Sejeong might have probably forgot about her birthday. Her birthday.

 She hears Sejeong sighing apologetically and pulls Somi's hands to clasp hers with, “Priorities.” she simply answers as she dips another soft kiss, this time on Somi's hand. Sometimes, Somi hates how Sejeong could be sweet as honey, it makes her forget that she is actually mad at her. Generally, it makes her forget everything.

 When Somi doesn't answer, Sejeong pulled a chair from not too far away from them, making Somi sit on her lap. Somi tries standing up because they aren't definitely doing that infront of the people, no matter how busy these people can be. Not infront of Somi's family who's now looking at the both of them. Sure, they didn't throw spoons and forks located beside them to pipe themselves down or do anything not nice, but Somi knows they would have probably did if not for the visitors.

 “You are mad at me.” A statement. Sejeong breathes on her neck, it makes Somi's stomach twists into complicated knots. Then she felt Sejeong's mouth twitching, smiling “I knew it was your birthday.”

 “You knew?”

 “Of course. Why wouldn't I know about your birthday?” She grins her toothy grin, “ _My_ girlfriend's birthday?”

 “You're just saying that,” Somi gets off from Sejeong's lap, she hears her whining, but she continues, “You don't have to lie.”

 “That wasn't a lie,” Sejeong stood up as well, trying to find Somi's eyes, “Okay, maybe I did lie about something.”

 Somi stares at her briefly. Now she's very _very_ mad.

 “I lied about hanging out with my friends on this day, that is.” Sejeong explains. Somi hates how that didn't sound like a defensive excuse at all, “I actually wanted to surprise you but I guess that's a bad idea. Lying never really had a good outcome, does it?” Sejeong scratches her own neck in regret and Somi hates herself even more because she had always known Sejeong never lied to her.

 “Ah,” Sejeong groans to herself, frustrated.

 It was quiet for a long time. Then Somi gives up, her arms aching to hug the girl infront of her, so she does. “I believe you.” she whispers.

 She felt Sejeong hugging her back, breathing her in for a while, and then, “But you aren't supposed to be forgiving me already.”

 “What?” Somi breaks the hug abruptly, confused.

 “Because you are supposed to be really mad so I could do the thing!”

 “The _thing_?”

 Sejeong smiles at her again, eyes are forming into lovely crescents. It sends a tingle along Somi's spine. Then she snaps her fingers in the air and suddenly, a loud explosion can be heard from the sky. Somi looks up and saw various colors of expensive fireworks scattered above. It lasted for about forty seconds. The last explosion showed hearts of different sizes and then a “Happy Birthday. I love you.” at the end. It was quick but long enough for Somi's heart to be moved. Sejeong kisses the temple of Somi's head, kisses away the tears, presses her lips on the tip of her nose and saved Somi's lips for last. Then she chuckles, “Surprise.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I call that a nightmare.” Doyeon comments while texting someone on her phone. Probably Yeonjung.

 It's the fourth time Somi had the same dream but it's technically not a total dream when it really happened. She just doesn't understand why does she keep dreaming about it. Somi would like to call it a nightmare, too. but was it really considered a nightmare when it's one of the best moments ever happened in her entire life?

 Somi sighs, “I don't.”

 “Yeah, because your tragic ass refuses to,” Doyeon rolls her eyes and places her phone gently on the table. “I'm guessing, beside your tragic ass, I think you're having that dream because it's in a few days, you know.”

 “What's in a few days?”

 Doyeon's eyes are wide now in disbelief, even her mouth too. “Your birthday, idiot!”

  _ **Oh**_  . Today is actually March 6? Somi didn't notice. A part of her was disappointed for she thinks Doyeon may be right, and not a sign that Sejeong might actually come back.

 “You seriously forgot your birthday! I think you're not just tragic, you are ㅡwow.. you're in A Whole New Level of being tragic!”

 “Ouch. That might be accurate.” Somi had to let out a small laugh because Doyeon looks funny as she was really surprised.

 Both of them are stunned for a while when a group of girls suddenly walked in. Chaeyeon was with them and Somi hears Doyeon wolf-whistling not too loud but loud enough to annoy her ears. Chaeyeon searches around, and when she finds Somi's eyes, her face lits up again, just like the last time Somi saw it.

 “Somi!” Chaeyeon calls her cheerfully as she approaches Somi's table. At the side of Somi's eyes, she supposes Doyeon is now wriggling her eyebrows annoyingly. Chaeyeon arrives not after too long and then looks at Doyeon, “Hi, can I excuse her for a bit?”

 Doyeon immediately stands up, she looks excited when she did it, “Oh please take her. Take her and her tragic ass out somewhere.” and she heads for the door to leave.

 Chaeyeon looks at Doyeon in confusion. Letting out a small smile that looks confused too until Doyeon is completely gone from the sight. When she turns to Somi, her smile looks genuine. “Coffee break?”

 “Yeah, I think I needed that.” Somi nods, appreciating Chaeyeon's offer. Maybe a coffee break in the middle of a hot afternoon could be a great help.

 

 It wasn't that long when Somi and Chaeyeon got a bit closer. They chat inside the class and even outside. Chaeyeon would tell her about things and Somi admits, it keeps her distracted. It keeps her away from painful thoughts aboutㅡ

 “I saw you reading New Moon before.” Chaeyeon tells her, “Twilight series.”

 “Yeah. What about it?”

 Chaeyeon slides her seat closer. A hint of amusement playing on her thin lips, “I've read that, too. That and the last book.”

 _**Cool .**_  Somi's itching to ask what happened ㅡdid Edward ever comeback? Somi has been reading it, yes, but it doesn't make her feel better, so she stops. Somi doesn't want to admit it, but the only answer she would like to hear is that he came back. He came back for her.

 “I'm not halfway done through New Moon.” Somi admits.

 Chaeyeon takes a quick sip of her coffee, “No way, you've been reading that since last week!”

 “I stopped.” Somi glances at her own coffee. Which reminds her that she hasn't actually sip a bit from it. So she does, and the sudden heat shocked her from the tip of her tongue throughout her body. She jumps out from her seat and Chaeyeon does the same on reflex, offering her a cup of water.

 “Gosh, are you okay?” Chaeyeon panics.

 Still feeling the sting on her tongue, Somi managed to nod, “I'm fine, I guess.”

 Chaeyeon gave her a moment to settle herself, her eyes are full of worries. Somi wonders how someone looks mysterious could be a bit expressive sometimes. The first time she saw Chaeyeon, she looked like a mysterious yet perfect white stone. Does she have a girlfriend? Or boyfriend probably? Because that's a look everyone would fall for.

 “Are you with...” Somi starts, and she regrets why she started that because Chaeyeon's eyes focused on her instantly, something about the girl's eyes intimidates her. Maybe because they looked mysterious. “Are you with someone?”

 “You mean like That someone? Because there's no way you're asking me if I'm having a coffee with someone, right?” Chaeyeon asks, there's a suppressed laugh that tugs on her lips, “This conversation seems familiar.”

 “That's right.” Somi laughs when she is reminded by how her first conversation went with Chaeyeon. She tries another sip of her coffee, it's not as hot as before.

 “I'm not with someone...” And then Chaeyeon looks at her with a charming smile, it's the first time Somi saw it. She looks really pretty . “...yet.”

 Chaeyeon stares at her for long, waiting for an answer. Her smile cannot be wipe off of her pretty face. It makes her prettier, if that's still possible. Somi just nods, unable to think of any response. She takes one last sip of her coffee and she thinks maybe a coffee under a hot afternoon wasn't really that bad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Pajama party!” Yeonjung screams, it makes Somi's ears bleed, but Doyeon, of course looks like she's loving how high Yeonjung is. Doyeon then drags Yeonjung down on their bed, both of them are laughing.

Beside her is Sejeong, on her pajamas, too. She shots a smile on Somi when her eyes met hers. Somi does the same.

“How did you get my parents let you for a pajama party?” Somi asks resting her head on Sejeong's arm.

The side of Sejeong's lips curved upward, grinning, “Simple. Because they like me. I'm that charming.”

Somi playfully smacks her head, but she knows Sejeong isn't lying, “You're not so full yourself.” Sejeong shrugs and then looks at her intently, it makes Somi's heart do foxtrots everytime Sejeong does this.

“You look beautiful.”

“You're starting it again.”

“You look even more beautiful with that lovely blush.”

“I'm not blushing!”

It starts at that. Sejeong loves teasing Somi a little too much that sometimes Somi would just give it up. Still, Sejeong doesn't give up (she never), “You're the most beautiful when you're annoyed.” Sejeong tells her and Somi would just roll her eyes.

Somi looks at the bed beside them ㅡ Doyeon and Yeonjung's, and sees them already sleeping, arms around each other and Somi supposes that even their limbs are probably tangled together.

“I honestly thought we're going to actually watch some movie or eat something. Or, that's how pajama parties are done on movies, anyway.” Somi mutters.

“Likewise,” Sejeong agrees, stroking Somi's hair. Sejeong's fingers felt so soft on Somi's hair, it makes Somi's thoughts fade away. “Or we can just do that, instead.”

“We'll watch a movie?” Somi asks, excited.

“Uh-huh,” Sejeong nods with a smile, “So what movie do you propose?”

“Anything is fine.” It's true. Anything is fine as long as she's in Sejeong's arms, the movie doesn't really matter. All Somi wanted is just to stay with Sejeong a little bit longer, she doesn't mind if it takes until tomorrow. She could do it for even longer.

When the movie plays, Sejeong pulls Somi's body closer. It was a horror one. “You know, I don't get scared at things like these, right?” Somi mumbles.

“I know. I don't as well,” Sejeong says with a glint of cocky grin playing on her mouth. Somi caught how Sejeong briefly stared on her lips, “But, we'll see how this movie thing goes.” Somi didn't answer at that, still puzzled, but whatever. The movie starts with already a girl being chased by a psycho or whoever this creepy guy is.

The girl in the movie shouts and suddenly the screen was filled with blood ㅡSomi gasps a little with the amount of blood on the screen. Beside her Sejeong laughs, “I thought you don't get scared at these movies.”

“I'm definitely not! But I cannot handle gore much.” Somi defends.

Pulling her even closer, Sejeong says with a mocking smile, “Alright, if you say so.”

  
They were silent for the long time the movie was running. Somi could feel Sejeong's heart beating on her chest, just the same pace as how her heartbeats are and  _boy_ , it's the most beautiful sound she's ever heard.

She looks up to Sejeong to check if she was already sleeping, but she is greeted with the girl's eyes as well. The light from the television adds a beautiful touch to Sejeong's already lovely eyes. They stare at each other for awhile.

“I love your eyes.” Sejeong whispers under her breath and Somi loves how they are thinking of the same thing.

Somi then raises up a finger and points it to Sejeong's nose, “I love your nose.” Sejeong smiles when she feels the Somi's touch. She brings it to her lips and kisses it soft and lingering.

“I love you.” Sejeong whispers. She then pulls up Somi's chin for a kiss. Sejeong's kisses are soft, gentle and warm it's all what Somi could ever ask for. They shared kiss just as much as the usual, until Somi felt something seemed to change.

Sejeong moves on top of her, kissing her neck, fleeting kisses along her jaw and then back to her lips. She then feels Sejeong's hand on her thigh, moving up and down and Somi fights back a moan, careful not to wake either Doyeon or Yeonjung from their sleep.

Suddenly, Sejeong's lips becomes more urgent, hungrier by any second, pulling Somi's face up securing her completely to hers. It was hard for Somi not to respond with the same intensity. Sejeong slids her tongue, and Somi couldn't fight back her moan anymore when Sejeong did that.

There was desperation in the way Sejeong's lips moved, like she's been dying to do this, like she's been concealing all these for too long. Somi understands that because honestly? Somi feels just the same. So Somi twists her arms around Sejeong's neck, straining her on their position.

“I love you.” Sejeong whispers between heavy breaths. Somi didn't have the chance to answer back because Sejeong pushes her lips to kiss Somi's open mouth again. Sejeong's mouth isn't as gentle as before, but Somi loved how they moved with hers perfectly.

To Somi's surprise, Sejeong stops too abrupt, and Somi was reminded of how they both actually needed that to breathe.

“Why did you stop?” Somi asks, still breathless.

Sejeong closes her eyes tight, “I'm sorry, we aren't supposed to be doing that.”

 ** _What the . Hell . Why stop Now_** _**.**_  Somi creases her forehead, “We've been kissing ever since and now you worry?”

“I know,” Sejeong sighs, and gets off Somi, “I'm afraid I'd get ahead of myself.” she says, almost a whisper.

It took a moment for Somi to realize what was Sejeong worrying about. Somi loves how Sejeong gets to these things, Sejeong may be the most perverted person she's ever met, but she's also the most reasonable person, too. Sejeong looks away, probably feeling bad about what she almost did. Then Somi touches her cheeks, drawing some random figures on it softly.

“Kim Sejeong.” she whispers, emphasizing every syllable on Sejeong's ears. She feels Sejeong's body tensing up. “Kiss me, Kim Sejeong.”

“I'm afraid I couldn't control myself much.” Sejeong's breathing becomes ragged. Like she's trying to focus on something.

So Sejeong had these fears, too . Then Somi strokes Sejeong's hair, “I'd like  _that_.”

Sejeong looks at Somi, seeing her in a different light, it makes her breath catch in her throat. “You don't have any idea of what you're asking.”

“Oh believe me I do,” Somi smiles, _seductively._ She isn't sure where did she learn the courage of doing that, maybe Sejeong is just too cute to tease, or maybe it was the pool of heat starting to build up on the pit of her stomach, or maybe both, but she leans in to Sejeong's ear, her breath hot, “I want you to kiss me, Sejeong. Kiss me until the sun comes up.”

 

 

 

 

  
Somi's 22nd birthday comes with just a blink of an eye. For her, it doesn't matter. It just doesn't make sense anymore. Celebrating another year closer to death is one, celebrating it without her is another. She tells her Dad a big celebration isn't really necessary, but he insists. He only has two daughters in the family, so why not give all his treasures to them? Or “This is the least I could do as your Father” as her Dad puts it.

It looks familiar ㅡvisitors around, the cake at the middle, the tables and chairs, the soft background music. Her friends are there, too.

  
“Happy birthday, Somi!” Yeonjung arrives, unclasping her hands with Doyeon to give her a hug. They looked beautiful together.

“Thanks, Yeonjung.”

Doyeon approaches her next, hugging her, too. “I don't do this a lot with you but hey, Happy birthday, you tragic sap. What are your plans for today?”

Somi sighs, “Nothing.”

“That sounds just fun.” Doyeon rolls her eyes, “How about a pajama party with us? You know, just like the last time. And promise, we won't just sleep. Last time we did that, we woke up with you and Sejeong both naked on the bed and I almost got a heart attaㅡoh, I mean well..” Doyeon pauses for a bit, like she just said something she should've not. “I'm sorry.”

“God, you're no help.” Yeonjung scolds Doyeon and faced Somi, “How are you doing, Som? I've been really busy with my class so I couldn't talk to you like before, you know. And I know Doyeon's with you, anyway to accompany you but looks like she's no help.”

“Hey, I didn't mean that!” Doyeon butts in.

Somi lets out a sad smile, “No, she's not really that bad. I'm actually glad she's there you know,” she faces Doyeon who's now nodding proudly, “Atleast she's better than my sister's talking doll.”

Yeonjung laughs and Doyeon looked like a kicked puppy, trying to earn some sympathy from her girlfriend particularly. Yeonjung pinches Doyeon's cheeks, “You're bad at being cute.”

Doyeon pouts again and Yeonjung just laughed at it. When Yeonjung's laughter dies, she kisses Doyeon on her cheeks. Somi looks at them, her eyes full of adoration. These two are just sickeningly sweet. It reminds her of... God can she just stop remembering her?

Somi watches as the couple doing cheesy stuffs: Doyeon pouting some more to probably get Yeonjung to kiss her on the cheeks again and Yeonjung willing complies.  ** _Cute ._**

If it weren't for the odds,  _they_  could've been the same as of today.

Then Doyeon suddenly shouts, “She came!” looks at the back of Somi with her overly wide eyes and mouth Somi isn't sure if it's because Doyeon's in awe or she's just super surprised but probably there's no in between. “Wow, I can't believe this...”

Somi doesn't want to even look at whoever just came on her party, doesn't want to anticipate on who she is. Or could it be.... ?  ** _No ._**  She doesn't want to even guess. Afterall, she might actually guess it wrong. And getting it wrong means another pool of unbearable pain.

But she feels herself getting weak, and the familiar overheating of her eyes coming back. **_Please ._**

“Happy birthday, Somi!” A familiar velvety voice shouts from behind her. Somi feels her heart breaking, if breaking up to this extent is still possible. 

Somehow, Somi managed to let out a smile. 

“Thank you, Chaeyeon.”

 

Who was she fooling? There was no way  _she_ is coming.

 

 

 

The event isn't going any faster. People keep coming and Somi would be lying if she didn't assumed it could be  _her._  She is somehow busied with Chaeyeon, who keeps telling her random things about university and all.

 When Chaeyeon finishes talking (Chaeyeon feels like finishing whatever story she's telling Somi this time because does she doesn't look that interested), she then asks, "Anyway, what part are you already in New Moon?"

“Page two hundred and twenty-five.”

Chaeyeon stares at her in confusion, like she's a strange thing now. Somi is positive that Chaeyeon thinks she's weird which was not entirely a lie these days -even Somi finds herself weird.

“Thank you. I have like... some good photographic memories of the pages and their contents.” Chaeyeon then suddenly bursts out laughing and Somi had to join her because her laugh is somehow contagious.

“I'm sorry. I just ㅡI don't know. The content was too sad for me so I guess I'm saying the page, instead.”

“That was funny,” Chaeyeon says, still half laughing, “I'll guess. Edward leaving?”

Somi shakes her head, and gulps an imaginary lump on her throat.  ** _That is one ._**

“Bella's motorcycle accident? I don't think that was sad, though.”

“No.” Somi answers, gives it up, “Jacob is leaving Bella, too.”

If Somi would be the protagonist in Twilight, she would've been Bella's character, Sejeong would be her Edward but the difference is that Somi wouldn't have any Jacob. Gladly she wasn't Bella because Somi thinks she might just fully breakdown (if this isn't breaking down yet) if she has a Jacob who's just going to leave her in the end. She didn't need another of that. Somi shrugged the thought off, that just sounded ridiculous.

 Chaeyeon cradles her hand on her chin, probably thinking of that part of the story. Her eyes are back into being mysteriously stunning again. Somi notices how Chaeyeon's eyes would change everytime she'd think hard of something.

 “Jacob never left Bella,” Chaeyeon replies, her eyes are now back to something more expressive than that of mysterious ones. There's even a glint of happiness tugging on her lips, “And I won't tell you why and how.”

 “Why not?”

 “Because you have to read it first!" She winks. "Jacob Black is honestly my favorite character. If only Edward didn't come back at the endㅡ”

 Somi's heart races, her breathing heavy, “E-Edward came back?”

 Surprise Chaeyeon at herself, too by the sudden spoiler, she just gives it up and sighed much to Somi's relief, “He came back.”

 

 

 

 

 

It didn't take a long time when Somi finishes the whole book. She plans on reading the next book, but that's a read for another time. Somi still couldn't believe it, how something so terribly hopeless love story could still be saved.

 

So she hopes.

 

She slept that night, with her heart hopeful, and with Sejeong's lovely smile at the back of her eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Somi.”

 They stopped by Somi’s car at the roadside. Somi felt her heart skipping a beat. Sejeong's voice is flat, icy on the edge. It's not the usual voice Somi had grown accustomed to.

 “Is there anything... wrong?” Somi asks anxiously. Sejeong didn't actually have to answer that since it was very much obvious already since this morning. It's how Sejeong has been loosening the tight grip of their hands intertwined on one second and squeezing it on another, like Sejeong would have glued their hands with each other if only she could. It's how she has been catching Sejeong staring at her so lovingly while she eats and then avoiding Somi's eyes the next moment. It's how Sejeong behaves strangely today.

 Sejeong shakes her head, it looks like she's shaking her head for herself, not to Somi's. Then she slowly leans down, pressing her lips to Somi's. Her kisses are soft at first, then she paces into a rough one and it makes Somi's head feels a bit dizzy. Somi kept herself steady as she holds to the hem of Sejeong's shirt, getting herself balanced but she knows her knees are about to betray her anytime soon.

 Sejeong lifts her up, placing her on the car's front. There was anxiety on Sejeong's kisses. Somi recognizes that these aren't the same kisses as before, but she kisses back though a bit hesitant. She thinks of pulling back and ask Sejeong what's wrong, but that seems impossible when Sejeong have her hand on her chin, and another hand at the back of Somi's head, securing her completely.

 If this continued, Somi thinks they might end up inside her car somehow, but it seems like Sejeong has a plan of doing that outside. It doesn't sound like a very good idea. It was hard, but Somi somehow manage to pull away, giving the both of them a chance to breathe.

 “Tell me what's wrong.” Somi caresses Sejeong's face causing the latter to close her eyes, feeling the hand on her cheeks. Sejeong always love it when she does that.

 There is definitely something  _wrong_.

 Sejeong stares at her for a long time. Her eyes are neither happy nor sad, instead there was no expression on her eyes. Somi hates how she can't read Sejeong's mind right now. It's frustrating.

 “I...," Sejeong starts, hesitant. “I cannot do this anymore."

 The absence of some streetlights makes this moment suspenseful as it is. Somi could feel her heart racing, not the usual feeling when she's with Sejeong. It's something different that Somi wanted it to stop.

 “Cannot do what?”

 “This,” Sejeong closes her eyes shut. Very tight. And then, “Let's stop now.”

 “I don't understand you right now, Sejeong.”

 Sejeong takes a deep breath before looking at her again. Somi isn't sure if it's the moonlight that makes Sejeong's eyes sad until a hot drop of liquid fell from them, landing on Somi's exposed leg.  ** _Why... is she... crying ?_**

 It didn't take a long time when Sejeong's body shuddered, shoulders are shaking, “Let's break up. I don't ㅡ  _Sejeong's voice broke_  ㅡ I don't want you anymore.”

 “You don't mean that. Come on, take me home,” Somi ignores her, but she's positive that the desperation in her voice was clearly shown, “I want to go home now.”

 “Go home now,” Sejeong hands Somi her car keys back, emotionless. “I'll go take a taxi.”

 “Why are you doing this?” Somi asks, her voice is shaking as she tries to fight back the pool of heat on her eyes, and her heart getting heavy. “Was there a third party?”

 “No, there was not,” Sejeong replies like she already expected this question. Sure, there wasn't ㅡthat much Somi is sure of. Sejeong always told her there isn't any attractive woman out there as Somi and Somi had always believed her. “It's just me.”

 “You  _don't_  love me anymore?”

 The hard look on Sejeong's eyes softens, and it somehow eliminates Somi's worries. Sejeong loves her, that is sure. Doyeon once told her about how Sejeong looks so whipped and how she could probably stay thousands of miles away from Sejeong and she could still smell how whipped she is for Somi. It's like she's willing to throw herself on a bullet just to save Somi or something. It's just  _different._

 But the softness in her expression changes back into a hard one, making Somi's heart break into pieces.

 “No.”

  ** _No ._**  Somi convulses. She is crying now, and how much she wishes all of these was just a dreamㅡ or no, no, this wasn't as near as a dream even. This was a fucking nightmare. **_Goddamn wake me up ._** Somi wants to grab Sejeong and pull her back into her arms right now, but she can't move. Even breathing even is getting hard now.

 “Take care of yourself for me.” She kisses Somi on the forehead the last time, long and lingering. “Goodbye, Somi.”

 

Somi is left, sitting on her car's front, with her car keys placed on her palm. Sejeong didn't drive her home that night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chaeyeon invites her on that coffee shop (“The place where we first talked.” as Chaeyeon puts it) once their class ended. Somi could never say no because it would be very mean to refuse Chaeyeon's offer, not when she looks too enthusiastic about it. Plus, Somi is getting used to her company, too. It's nice.

 “So you finished the book?” Chaeyeon starts, stirring her coffee in a gentle manner.

 Somi nods, and sips on her coffee, “Yes.”

 “He came back, didn't he? I told you.” Chaeyeon tells her happily, and then her expression soured, “Poor Jacob.”

 “Why do you like Jacob so much? And you're aware that Edward and Bella is the real ship, yeah?” Somi says, half laughing and half wishing she didn't offend Chaeyeon with those.

 Admiration lit Chaeyeon's expression. “How can you not like Jacob? He's always been there for Bella, even though he knows what her heart wants. He's just that... dedicated and passionate.”

 Somi nods, understanding Chaeyeon's point. But, she thinks Edward is just as dedicated and passionate, too. That conclusion, she keeps to herself.

 They talked ㅡmostly about the whole Twilight series. Somi notices how Chaeyeon really admires Jacob's character by seeing how her hands moved around when she talks, an indication of being really enthusiastic. Somi wonders if she does the same when she talks about Sejeong before.

 And as if on cue, Somi's eyes flickered on someone familiar approaching the door. Someone who's hair Somi had always known that are so soft through her hands, someone who's eyes looked the most beautiful that always brought Somi into a wave of happiness and pleasure, someone who's smile is the brightest and that even sun itself isn't comparable enough ㅡIt was  _her_.

 

It was Sejeong.

 

She is back.

 

Somi stands up, earning a confused look from Chaeyeon but whatever, she almost shouts to call her name. Until another girl then approaches next to Sejeong hugging her on her waist. The girl is pretty, her brunette hair is waving freely, and there's a smile plastered on Sejeong's face when she feels her arms around her.

They looked happy. Sejeong looked  _happy_.

“Hey, is everything alright?” Chaeyeon reaches for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. There was uneasiness and worry in the tone of her voice.

 

Sejeong came back. Just like Edward for Bella. But apparently Somi is neither Bella nor Sejeong is her Edward. And this isn't a goddamn romance book.

 

“Y-Yes..,” Somi's voice cracks. She sits back on her seat, her knees are trembling, and her heart breaking all over again. “ _Everything_  is fine.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i know, im sorry i told you ok i told you. you were warned. angst angst


End file.
